Mixed Reviews

Hello again to our loyal blog followers. First off, let me apologize for not posting sooner. There is a lot to explain and instead of writing a blog following our Wednesday appointment and scans, I figured I would wait until we had all the information at hand. And at long last - we do.

So as some of you know, B had an appointment on Wednesday with Dr. # 4 for a standard follow up and for what we thought was a normal chemo appointment. We actually thought that we were going to meet with Dr. # 4, start chemo, get a scan, get scan results, meet with Dr. # 4 again. However, this plan/schedule was way off. So B and I started off Wednesday by meeting with Dr. # 4. B explained to Dr. # 4 that he again is having terrible terrible pain in his chest, in his back, and in his right and left hip. B and I also explained that we met with the Dr. # 11 some time last week and that he wanted to get a CAT scan done so he could take a better look at what is going on in the pelvis and hip. Dr. # 4 agreed that it was again time to get a CAT scan done and he finished the appointment and sent us into the chemo area where we met with Tammy, the oncology RN, and waited for the itinerary for the day. Tammy was gone for a pretty long time and finally looped back to inform us that Chemo was again canceled for the day. Not due to any low blood counts, but due to the fact that Dr. # 4 wanted to see what the scan had to show before doing chemo again. So in an instant the day was turned upside down - another wasted 2+ hour car ride for DBone!! B was scheduled for a scan that afternoon and they were going to do a wet read....meaning we would find out the same day the results of the test. Holy shit, excuse my language, but holy shit was that ever nerve-racking. Please tell me how one is supposed to focus on work knowing that you are going to find out the results of a cancer scan that afternoon? Needless to say, I went back to work with nothing but prayers being recited mentally all day long.

B had his scan at 2 pm at the cancer center and then he and DBone headed home to wait for the call. 'The call' was scheduled to come around 5, so I was planning to take off around 4:30 to get home in time to hear the news with B and DBone. However, the call come in around 4:15 and I didn't make it home in time to hear the news with B. So instead I got a call at work where B informed me that the cancer had spread. Talk about a gut wrenching feeling. I mean it when I say this is the closest I have come to passing out in my life. I was seeing stars and had to sit down in the back office. I put my head on the desk, cried, got myself together, grabbed the lunch I didn't eat, and headed home. I think I drove 100 on 131 S, and I didn't care if I got pulled over or not...my only focus was getting home. B was surprisingly calm. He said he knew all along with all the pain he was having that there had to be cancerous spots there. And he was right!!!! I can almost guarantee if B is complaining of horrendous pain that cancer is lurking in the cracks, or is hanging out just around the corner. It is just frustrating because B had been complaining of pain in his chest for 2 months (although he did really think it was related to the puke thing), but they kept down-playing his symptoms, too, thinking that the pain was just from the vomiting experience., as well. Both DBone and I wanted to punch someone for not listening. But in the Dr.'s defense, the spots are really small. Looking back at the scans that they did in July, the Dr.'s and Radiologists are coming to recognize that B had cancer in his sternum all along. So to everyone out there who thought that B and I were crazy about the pain he was describing, we were NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!. He was so right, so right all along. And the pain is paralyzing, and B is again getting stuck on the couch or in the bed because he no longer has the strength to lift himself because of the extreme pain he has in the sternum....not cool.....not cool at all. Dude's like a doormat when he gets flat...although he can balance a mean jar of salsa on his belly ;) That's my B!

The scans also showed 2 new spots on his back-one on his upper right side on a rib and one on his left hip. And believe it or not, B has been complaining of pain in the lower left back and hip, and I am all sure that you are shocked to hear that he has spots there too....right? I guess you could say that B knows his own body better than anyone else. Dr. # 4, however said that the spread of the cancer is very very slow and that the lung lesion is the exact same size, that the neck, which was previously treated with radiation, is better, and that the right hip is better too. So Dr. # 4 described the cancer as having mild progression. However, since the cancer is still spreading they are going to have to change B's chemo again. Dr. # 4 said that up until this point he was treating B with a chemo that was targeted for colon cancer and he is thinking of changing course to more of an upper GI cancer. We are also considering another second opinion - just to get some fresh eyes. It is not that we don't trust Dr. # 4, because he is good at what he does, it is just that a fresh set of eyes in the mix might help in finding a missing clue, or not, or coming up with a new idea, or not. But it can't hurt the situation - that is for sure. So I guess you could say this week has been pretty hard to swallow. I have cried a fair share, as has B. It's just hard to understand how all of this could happen.

So in terms of treatment....B is again going to undergo radiation to kill those new spots and to treat the pain. Dr. # 4 as well as Auntie R and her Oncology Dr. Friend, agree that the most important thing to do at this point is to treat the pain. And by
radiating these troublesome spots, it is the hope that the pain will subside and those little spots will die and go away. And Dr. # 4 said it would be really dangerous to do chemo and radiation at the same time, so B is getting a 2-3 week break (really like 4-5 since he didn't have it last or this week) from Chemo. I guess both radiation and chemo at the same time could cause a dangerous drop in blood counts and with the cold season approaching Dr. # 4 wants to side on the error of caution. B is gladly embracing this break. The chemo is really starting to take a toll on his body, so a break is just what he needs. Of course we are going to again re-visit chemo in the next few weeks, and by that time Dr. # 4 will have a great and more directed game plan in mind. For now B is scheduled to meet with the Radiation Oncology Team again this Monday and we're confident we'll have more direction and a more outlined plan of attack. Game on! And might I add that B is looking forward to earning another certificate for graduating from radiation boot camp.

As for now we just request prayers for both B and I as well as our families who are also struggling with the latest news. This is obviously a set back (small, and we actually left yesterday's appointment happy with the discussions and outlooks) but B is strong and it is what it is at this point. Every day together is a blessing and I am thankful to be able to help B beat the crap out of this cancer. Thanks again for stopping by, and as we get more info we'll work hard to get the info out there. Go State and enjoy the first fall weekend!!

The Retrun of the Ugly Truth

So last week as some of you know, B missed out on Chemo. This came as a pretty big surprise to both B and I. We found out after the weekly blood work, that B's blood counts were too low to undergo Chemo. I actually was working and only came to find out about this when I noticed that I had 3 missed calls from my hubby. Not to mention one call came from Casa De Muttz. I knew it was either B or some burgler was pulling the biggest fast one and was calling me at work to report that he just packed up our flat screen TV as well as our prize possessions, Bear and Jetta. B was pretty shook up and I decided to take and early lunch and come home to spend some time with B and D Bone. Poor D Done drove all the way in from the D only to find out that B was not having Chemo. We ended up playing cards and hanging out before I headed back to work. B was just worried that his counts were low as a result of the disease. It took quite a bit of reassuring that it was in fact the chemo and not the cancer causing the low blood counts. Not to mention that we both have to prepare a week in advance for chemo, so to not have Chemo really threw a wrench in our schedules.......grrrr. I guess however this would explain why B has been so so so tired. I mean at this point I could tell B that I bought a Louis Vuitton Bag and acutally tell him without him remembering....trust me I haven't done it, but food for thought.

On top of that B has been feeling really bad again. His pain levels are back where they were. So here is the ugly truth. Things are not great here at the Muttz house, so no more faking like they are. We have had some really really hard weeks. B's pain is paralyzing and brings tears to his eyes. How heartbreaking.....loud sigh. He can't get comfortable...not on the couch, or in the chair, or in the bed, or in the car....he is NEVER comfortable. I have no idea how he teaches, but he throws on his back pack and strolls into class every week and never lets on to his students how much he is hurting. I actually had a heart to heart with B about being honest with everyone about how he feels. No more faking it...so the truth is out.

We also went home this past weekend for the Jewish Holidays. We were able to see family and friends that haven't seen B in some time. We had our annual breaking of the fast with the Schneider family at Tam, and as usual it was awesome. However B would say "who gets just the salad bar after fasting all day? That is not normal for anyone but L." I am here to tell you that this salad bar is what dreams are made of, and I can't help myself. I love me some salad, and so I went back for more...what can I say, I am a rabbit. And then we stopped by Auntie E's to see the Resnick Family and to watch the MSU game, and what a game it was. I know that everyone fasted this year for B and for his health.

And now we are onto the almighty scan. B has had such bad and debilitating pain that they are scanning B tomorrow when he is at the cancer center. And we will find out tomorrow where we are at cancer wise. Chemo is scheduled for tomorrow as long as his counts are up, and then he will be off to get a CAT scan, and then back up to the 3rd floor to wrap up the Chemo for the day. B is convinced that he will not have chemo tomorrow because he believes his counts will still be too low....let's hope they aren't! Both B and I are worried. With B feeling so bad we are so scared...actually worried does not even begin to describe how we feel. I can only hope that all of you never have to experience this. This is what I would describe as hell on earth. So please pray for Team Muttz. I am sorry for being dramatic but this is the truth...take it or leave it!

Finally I would like to give a shout out to my cousin who is competing in Art Prize this week. Her painting, as funny as it is, is that of cancer cells. Her painting is in the Plaza Towers on Fulton St. so check it out. Mandy Presley......and she had the idea before B's diagnosis.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

The fall is officially here and we all know what that means.....FOOTBALL BABY! There is nothing more that B loves. Sometimes I think that I am competing for his love and compliments with the NFL RedZone Channel. For all of you out there that don't know, the NFL RedZone is a channel that we, the Muttzs, purchase during footrock season. And this particular channel plays game after game after game, without commercials. So you can imagine that this channel is on all day long every Sunday. I need to get my TV watching in before 1, or I am SOL. Not to mention fantasy football season is in full swing, so B dominates the home laptop, too. However, for the first time ever I'm not complaining, and I secretly love seeing Faith perform every Sunday night. Football is something that B loves, and with him still feeling like crap, it is something he can enjoy from our room and board wrap around couch in our cozy dungeon. And I don't feel guilty, because he would be watching football whether or not he was feeling good or bad. So Sunday has turned into LMuttz's fun day. You can almost guarantee a workout, followed up by some shopping, and reading every Sunday.....score!

And college football is in full swing too. This is something that we both love, and I look forward to our Saturdays rooting for our Spartans. I mean this when I say, I could only be married to a fellow Spartan. This is something that we both share...a special connection forever. We even dress our dog up in Spartan gear (sometimes...B insists she's not a mannequin), and I think on game day I am the one yelling the loudest at the TV over stupid calls and missed catches. Only bad news - the start of football marks the end of our beloved long lost summer. Both B and I feel a bit jaded when it comes to the summer. We sacrificed so much of the summer to "Mr. C", so it's kind of a shame, but that's all I have to say about that.

So this week again brings Chemo. And to be honest, B is still suffering from his last treatment, so we are leery about what this week will bring. One of the most common side effects with B's specific chemo is tingling and loss of sensation in his finger tips and toes, and unfortunately B is going through that part of it. It is getting so bad that he has a really hard time holding items that are really cold or really hot. He has to wrap his Woody's flurries in a towel because the cold cup causes so much pain in his hands. And this is the reason that come December this particular drug will be eliminated from his treatment. If they continued with this particular drug these temporary side effects could become more permanent.....poo poo. And his hands are really really dry. Actually he is using this cream that was recommended to us by his cancer RN called 'Udderly Smooth'. And it is actually used on cows' udders. The directions on the tub begin..."apply to the udder after each milking, massaging into the skin. For teat cracks [...hahaha.....] apply in sufficient quantity to fill crack and cover surrounding areas. Apply uniformly to chafed areas and teats." I guess you could say that I am really immature, but this cracks me up....no pun intended. And it seems to be working...he had a bad crack on his fingertip and within a couple applications it was healed!

And I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but B's hair is growing back. He doesn't have the standard cancer look anymore. He has more of a military look, and almost every time we go out someone asks if he is military and if he was injured in the line of duty. I guess the short hair, limp, and the cane really throws people off. When we were at the Casino last month a lady actually asked if B would share his really cool story about how he was injured overseas....I mean come on already. And we don't want to be rude, so we just say no, and that comes off as rude....oy vey ishmear. Word to the wise, it is best not to continue to ask a man with short hair and a cane if he was injured fighting for the land of the free. However, thank you to all the men and women out there who fight for our freedom everyday.

So, this past weekend was again pretty quiet. B really needs his rest and it is pretty hard getting him out of the house when he is so sore. Did I mention he took a fall last week??! I think I forgot to mention it, but he was playing with the dog and got a little ahead of himself and took a pretty nice fall. He kinda screamed he was going down and I ran downstairs to see him on his knees with blood coming out of his nose. It was kinda funny, kinda scary, but he was alright. I guess he caught himself mostly, but did hit his face and since his nose is always so dry, he started to bleed. Not really a big deal...we thought. 2 days later B was insanely sore on his right side. He fell harder than he thought, and he was really in quite a bit of pain the next few days. So, for a few days this week he really had a hard time even going upstairs. It was a long painful week, in which chemo was awful and the fall didn't help anything.

Back to the original point, by week's end, we were able to go to a dinner party at my Bro's friends parent's house....what a mouth full. And we had a good dinner and a great time playing cards. Too bad for my dad, Big D, because his partner liked to order it up in Euchre with only a J, 9 in her hand, and B and I took full advantage....haha. Walked away a few bucks richer....what what?!?!

So we continue on this long journey one foot in front of the other....if only love was enough....... Welcome to the fall and go Spartans!

The Holiday Weekend

Well folks....I'm back, or for this blog anyway....yes it is I, LMuttz. So this weekend turned out to be a pretty quiet weekend around the Casa de Muttz. Unfortunately, B had chemo again this week and the side effects seemed to have slipped into the long holiday weekend. I guess you could say it is good for B that he has a few extra days to recover since he is not feeling too hot.

For whatever reason, the chemo really seems to effect B's pain levels. His shoulder, as well as his right hip, are really hurting and as a result we haven't done much this weekend. To make matters worse, B ends up feeling like he is holding me hostage because I end up hanging with him here in the dungeon, aka the original 'Master Suite'. So he wants me to ask for some ideas of what to do alone in Grand Rapids for a few hours here and there, while he is stuck in what I will dub "C" mode. So my followers.... suggest away. And don't get me wrong, I know how to hit up the local shops and how to get myself a nice mani/pedi....and for my closest freinds....you guys would not believe how long my nails are. Just ask Senora Kiss, who has witnessed the nail transformation over the last 6 months. They are long and strong and shockingly fabulous. And when it comes to shopping, I have that down so I am looking for alternative ideas of what to do around town. However, for the record, I enjoy hanging out with B doing 'nothing' (read: watching mad amounts of TV/DVR recordings and movies), and I think that maybe B really just wants me out of the house.....I can take a hint, hombre. I mean, who doesn't enjoy hanging out all day in PJ pants after a long P90X workout? I personally enjoy doing nothing very very much, as do the trusty dog and cat. You will never catch our dog, lazy bones, complaining about a day of rest. Our perro lives for that stuff!

B and I did get to see my Bro and one of our nieces on Saturday, and we also went out to a local hot spot for some delicious tapas....thank you very much San Chez! It is just that both B and I are getting pretty sick of him feeling sick. After all, it has been 6 months since he started chemo, and we have another 3 ahead. We often ask for God to heal just 1 thing. It's not like we are asking for everything to just go away, but if just the arm, or just the leg would feel better, we could both get a little bit of B back. I know that often times we try to be upbeat on the blog, however B still struggles every day. Just carrying his computer bag and walking to class is a struggle. He often times says he feels like an 80 year old man, and I don't blame him. So much has been taken away, and we just hope that with each passing day he is able to get an inch back.

Anyways, B heads back to work again on Wednesday and we are hopeful that by then he is back to feeling OK. We promise to keep you all in the loop. Looks like we have a busy fall on tap...with the Jewish Holidays, a few MSU football games, some tailgating, a trip to Chicago, and of course our Cruise!! So it appears that we are going to be busy, but busy is good for the soul and spirit! And after the Cruise, not much planned except a brand new semester for Professor Muttz.

Thanks again for stopping by and we hope that everyone was able to enjoy the extra day off.

And for all you celebrating this week, toot your Shofars and have a very Happy New Year and enjoy your apples and honey!

Back in Session!

Recently, we've gotten word that our audience was jonesin' for some updates...our apologies for slacking the last couple weeks. We didn't know there was such a demand, plus we have been kind of busy, so that has to count for something, right?!?

Without further ado, here's what's been crackin'. Since the treatment a couple weeks ago, we've been in pretty good moods. Last time was the 1st time we actually felt like we got 'good' news, so we've kinda just been living on those words. The Dr's and nurses and family I've seen have all been impressed with the amount of hair I have. Yes folks, it's growing back and I haven't been to the barber, or as DBone calls it - 'The Beauty Shop', or as the late, great Big Ern called it, 'The Ugly Shop', or whatever other name you might have for it, since my locks started to re-sprout.

I actually am kinda digging where it is now...it's like a nice mix between Army crew and laid-back-preppy-Jim. Yeah, that's it....Don't Ask Don't Tell + Hormone Laden High School Student = a nice BMuttz 'do!

The only weird thing about the rest of the hair on my body, is that it really isn't 'mine', so to speak. I used to have curly hair, like arms and legs and chest...and it was mostly blond (or in the case of my beard, kinda multi-colored). Today, I sport a fine look of what I like to call 'Mediterranean Chic.' Straight, BLACK, soft hair. It's fine because it covers...it's just not mine. Simple observation, that's all....and from everything we've been told, this will all grow out and my real man-layer will return after the drug explosion sessions are over (GOAL: December).

Besides the hair changes, there have been some other developments in the last couple weeks. I said we've been busy, and that's the truth! After chemo last time, I really got started on the job prep. I had a lot of orientations and sessions to sit through (and stay awake for), not to mention power point presentations to prepare (those things are such a pain - but they can be fun if you seriously mess with the animations and colors and SOUNDS and don't mind making fun of yourself in front of 25 college juniors) and readings to get through!

So, work was officially underway, even though class didn't start until just this past Monday. Nonetheless, the thought of rest was becoming more and more a priority - and L has never been one to argue that point ;) Coming home from work, getting into comfy pants and sleeping through dinner is her dream date - and I'm glad I finally get to go on those dates with her!!

We actually were in The D a couple weekends ago with some Tiger tickets, and decided the day of that we were just too tired to hit the game, so we drove down to Comerica, found a gentleman who was slightly larger than us - combined x 2 - and sold the tickets for face. Fine with us...just meant we got to lie around DBone's for an extra couple hours before heading home.

This past weekend was full of some serious highlights!! For the last month or two, there have been plans in action for my college friends to come out here and just hang out for a weekend. No bachelor party, no wedding, no births, no over-the-hill blowout birthday parties, no real culminating event to celebrate - it was seriously just a weekend to hang out with the guys I went to school with and don't get to see nearly enough - whether it's because we live 2,000 miles apart, have opposite schedules, or just haven't coordinated well enough in the past.
As I hinted, this past weekend it all came together. Although it was much more than I was expecting, as is usually the case with this crew, I seemed to be the only one in the dark on some serious issues. As I went to get Space Research Team Member #1 at the airport on Friday morning, he seemed to be seriously confused as to which door the car was parked at; this might seem normal at your local airport. Let me remind you, however, that GRR has 5 gates and 2 baggage return thingies (or thereabouts), so confusion at that place is harder to find than in Chapter 17 of your local Calculus textbook. WAIT WAIT WAIT - his confusion was justified! As I saw him coming from the opposite end, I NEVER saw Space Research Team Member #2 approach the car from the door the car was parked right in front of. Holy crap, that was awesome to see both of these guys - and Member #2, all I can say is how amazing he looks! This cat has really taken my health situation seriously, and has literally CHANGED his entire life. We're not just talking pounds he's lost, but habits he's dropped, habits he's added, decisions he makes - it was amazing to see him without some of the weight he carried, but it was even better seeing how serious he took my situation and applied it to his life. Mad props SRTM #2, and thanks for making it out here this weekend!!

But wait, there's more! Since these Cali-cats arrived before 11 on Friday morning, we had plenty of time to kill before the Vegasnator arrived that afternoon. So, we headed home to drop off the guard dog, and went up to Real Food Cafe, aka the world's freaking greatest (or one of) overlooked breakfast spots that has a menu longer than the Bible, and that's full with ONLY quality dishes - including the Breakfast Monte Cristo, which is a fried egg sandwich with cheese and bacon, stuffed wonderfully between 2 pieces of TEXAS CINNAMON FRENCH TOAST!!!!! Yeah, that good! But, before we even got in the door at RFC, I was greeted by another college buddy - one I haven't seen in probably 7 years! He arranged with SRTM #1 a visit, and was lying in wait as we approached the restaurant. So, 2 dudes I never thought I would be seeing this weekend were now in GR before 11am on Friday morning - what else was in store?!?!!

Well, L had a half day, so she got home after we had brunch and the festivities rightfully began then. A serious Costco visit, another airport visit to get Kid Vegas and we were ready for festivities! I have to admit, for as much hype and man-love and excitement we shared this weekend, it really was all in pretty good control and not too extreme. We had some lawn games going continually (washers, bags/cornhole, bocce), as well as, 2 grills going almost throughout the entire weekend, too! In fact, when surprise guest #2 left on Saturday morning, we raided RFC again and then spent about 20 minutes in the Hardware Store across the street so we could build our own Washers game. With some great help from the clerk and, of course, SRTM #1, we had all the fixings to put together a quality set. And did we ever....so now Case de Muttz has a legit set of our own!

Friday night, L and I had a serious decision to make. We had been talking about booking a vacation in January because, honestly, WE FRIGGIN NEED ONE!! Turns out, about a month back we got an email from Carnival about some cruises and discounts and blah blah blah. Well, this week I got another email about a 72 hour sale that ended Friday night. So, do we or don't we?!? WE DID!! New Year's Day (don't worry football fans - boat leaves at 4, which gives me plenty of time to find our room and watch the Rose Bowl before celebrating our time in Jamaica and the Caymen Islands), we leave from Miami for 5 nights of boat-freedom! Plus, the BCS games will be on at night...which just so happens to be the time the sun is down and pool time will be over. Really, it's a perfect plan!! January, I'll be lookin' for ya ;)

The weekend continued, knowing we have a great trip to look forward to in 4 short months, just as it started. Saturday we did some more grilling - courtesy mostly of SRTM's #1 and 2, and their championship techniques - and lawn games and bathroom visits. Not to mention some fuse blowouts, DVD issues, outlet explosions and other unexpected events - all of which have been rectified - for the better, I think?!?

Sunday, unfortunately we were met with some extreme heat - and really, I think we were all just kind of worn out from the excess of lawn games and food! So, we spent most of the day inside....but that was fine with everyone. It made for a good movie/TV day and some real just 'chill' time with my buddies. Perfect day, really! As the crew began to wear off, it was nice to know that we had just spent a whole weekend together because my boys wanted to see me - if my health played a part in it, then it was worth it! Thank you guys, it was awesome to see all of you - P to the Didd, The APlan Man/aka Jakey Brown Eyes, SRTM #1 and 2, Hopeful Holt PoPo, Liberious Rex, The Plainwell Crew - glad everyone could make it for a bit :)

Last but not least, school started this week. So far so good, although we haven't had a 'real' class yet. Regardless, I've met the students and have started to get into a regular schedule - kind of hard since next week we have Labor Day and the day after off, but you get the point. Today was a chemo day, and DBone came up to keep some company. It was nice to have her there, and the box of bakery cookies she came with, too - moms and aunts always know how to hit the heart (Auntie R shared the same gift a couple weeks ago, too, so I have to get that shout-out in here, too). You guys are great, and thanks for all the healing goodies!!

As for today - Dr. #4 still thinks things are looking good - like I said, I look normal, still have that gigantic appetite (thank you Decadron - and Woody's Cone Stop on 28th st), and even my arm/chest/neck/rib thing is starting to feel a bit better (kind of, but that's better than 2 weeks ago - hoping for more progress this time in 2 weeks). So, we'll leave it there for now - feeling fine, doing fine. Thanks for checking in and sorry for the delay. As the semester goes on, we'll update as much as possible - I promise!!