One foot in front of the other

B and I are taking the approach of one foot in front of the other. After our meeting at U of M, we had some of our darkest days. As you know, I was feeling very sick and on Sunday B came down with what we thought was the flu. I called the on-call Dr. who said that it would be best to take him to the ER. That was the last thing that I wanted to do and had a feeling it would end up being a crazy trip...nothing more crazy than our cousin's trip to the ER for gas...HAHA....you know who you are, but crazy nonetheless. B couldn't sit still, he was sweating, had the goose bumps and developed a mild case of OCD-like behavior.

We decided to weather the storm but it was a long day...followed by a few more very long days. This could not have come at a worse time, and B really thought that he was dying. I think Katy Perry best describes how B felt....hot then cold, yes then no, very little up, but lots of downs. It was so bad that I stayed home from work on Monday to rest, take a trip to the Dr. for myself, and hang out with B. We went out to lunch, and it was a train wreck....except right before the part where we were derailed, we were miraculously saved with 3 free cupcakes!

I guess the random acts of kindness are helping us get thorough this tough time. Actually, the day we got the worse news...last Friday...we stopped at Dairy Queen to get something to relieve our minds. As I walked in, I was crying...baby tears, but obviously distraught. The lady in front of me noticed and asked me what was up....actually, her words were, "your man givin' you trouble, baby?" Of course, I replied yes...ain't that the truth. I filled her in on the cancer and the recent Dr visits, and out of nowhere she gave me a huge hug and I ended up getting 3 free blizzards out of the deal. The guy behind the counter overheard the conversation so he threw some coupons my way. I guess that cancer does have an upside.

Anyways, back to the sickness. It was only until late last night that we figured out what was going on with B. B decided that it would be a good idea to go off his meds...at what pace, was unbeknown to me. As of last week, B was taking between 25-28 pills a day. On Saturday, he decided to go off his meds cold turkey. B's symptoms matched that of a 14 year crack addict. He had class A withdrawal. And believe it or not, Momma Nanc was the first to mention this and I completely ignored the advice...thinking Nanc was just throwing stuff out there and hoping something stuck. It was only until DBone mentioned it last night to B that we figured out B was not dying, it was merely a case of withdrawal. So, he went back on some of the meds, and will slowly ween off of them. After a day of doing this, his optimism is back where it was when this started and he feels 100% better. And my cold/respiratory infection is feeling better, too.

As for the appointment this week, things went a bit better. Dr. #4 was much more optimistic. He told us that we have to find a balance of hope with realism. He said that nothing about B's case is normal so there is no way to make a clinical diagnosis for this case. Dr. #4 said that the stats are very scary and that Dr # 7 gave us correct info, however we need to have hope. If you look online, which we try not to do, the numbers are not great. But, then again, you won't find many 28 year olds who have this diagnosis. So, what does that mean?! Dr # 4 mentioned that the amount of cancer in B's lung is very small. Most of the tumor is cystic and that there is hardly any cancer in the lung. Most of the cancer is in the leg and they have already treated that. Speaking of which, B is getting more relief there, too. We've been sleeping in our bed the last few nights, he can lay on his good side now for a full night (which he couldn't do until last week), and he can lay on his bad side for a few minutes at a time. He's still on crutches, but we know we're only a matter of weeks away from him being able to walk on his own.

Back to Dr. #4. We discussed taking phosphonates (bone-strengthening meds) to strengthen the hip, and we are going to couple those with a multi-vitamin. Dr. # 4 also agrees with the treatment options, and we are now just waiting to find out about the genetic mutation. If that comes back positive, which would be ideal, B will start taking Tarceva as early as next week. If it comes back negative, then chemo will be the course. No matter the course, we're just anxious to get started on some treatment.

Back to something I mentioned above...B and I were able to sleep in our bed the last couple nights. These were the first times in over two months, and I almost cried. Yes, I'm an easy crier. But, seriously, we've been in our basement every night for the last two months. I was so out of the 'bed routine', that yesterday I overslept my alarm and could barely get out of bed. Regardless, it is so nice to be in the bed again. And we're not the only one's to enjoy it! Gato and Perro
could not be happier either. We had a huge party in the bed...so that is progress. B's leg is feeling better, and with each day comes a small amount of relief. B is also no longer bleeding when he goes # 2...another small, no this is a large, victory! It seems like we are getting things in check and are settling onto our new path.


B has a brain MRI today and that marks the last test on tap. Dr. #4 said this is more of a formality, and he doesn't expect to see anything, and in fact, he said he 'would be shocked' if there was anything, but it needs to be done so we can be certain. Things are looking up, finally!



Also, thanks again for all your comments and shared stories. You guys have been great, and all the encouraging success stories help us get through the rough patches. We know B will be lecturing on survival soon enough, and your stories are giving us the hope and power of prayer to get to that point. Thank you!