The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Last week ended with the much welcomed reunion of L and B. The 3 days L was gone were the longest 3 days since we've been married. Not that DBone or Kid Bro did anything wrong, but imagine the same person making your favorite meal with just the right amount of seasoning for 3 years, every day, the same way every time. Then imagine that person left town and hired 2 complete strangers to come in and try to duplicate the feat. Same food, same plates, same cooking styles, and same recipe. But, for some reason, it just doesn't taste the same. It's missing that little pinch of L!

Needless to say, this weekend was some of the best home-cookin' I done ever had! Sure, Friday night was about as exciting as the regular bingo game down at the VFW, but still. My lil' pinch of L was back, and I've never been more excited to see her.

Saturday, fresh off one of the worst nights of sleep either of us have had since this whole episode started, we decided to try and make it a productive day. The definition of 'productive', as you can guess, has changed just slightly since 2010 began. For instance, it is now considered productive to shower. Shaving is also a task deserving a round of applause. Standing upright for more than 30 seconds isn't easy these days. When I stand for too long my feet start to get numb, my ankles start to itch and I have to sit down. As I told Big D the other day, the beard I'm growing now isn't my playoff beard inasmuch as it's the 'I can only stand for 30 seconds at a time, so what you see is what you get and what you get is all I could handle shaving today so deal with it' beard.

Anyways, a few minor cuts, a towel full of sweat and a sink full of stubble later, we were a third of the way through that productive Saturday! Grocery shopping is out of the question, but since we were bringing dinner to The Kisses, we had to pick up a few things. L describes her experience that night as "Supermarket Sweep on crack." No inflatable beer bottles, no free groceries, and no matching sweatshirts, but she was in and out of that place faster than you can say metastasis adenocarcinoma.

Dinner at The Kisses was awesome. Our fridge became so full we had to start feeding our friends, so we brought some soup, salad, biscuits, an entree and an entire apple pie to their place. It was all delicious, but much to our surprise, we still came home with some leftovers. Nothing a few late night snacks can't take care of, though. Since I don't drink any more these days (something about combining booze and a stomach full of pills just doesn't seem right), L took care of both our combined BAC's that night. A couple games of euchre (for those non-Midwesterners, Google it) later, we had indeed completed a very productive Saturday. And, on top of all that, Sunday, we knew, would be full of some of the best sports watching in recent memory.

USA hockey was at 3, MSU was at 4, and some great NBA games were mixed in there, too. The Americans couldn't get the job done, but they put up a a great fight and made us proud that we could claim Ryan Miller as one of us. He was, after all, on the Spartan hockey team when we were freshmen....the same year Mateen, Mo, Charlie, Big Al, Jason, et al were busy winning a title in hoops!

Unfortunately for us, Sunday was the end of our winning streak. We should've known that night when our favorite show, The Amazing Race, was getting on our nerves. That used to be the one show we could watch, no matter how crappy the weekend was, and daydream about. We'd put ourselves in each Road Block, Detour or foot race and figure out how we would've done. Not this Sunday. There were cheaters, idiots and famous people! Come on CBS, do we really need to see Ms. Teen South Carolina? Again? (Remember her? Think: Maps, Iraq, such as) This should help bring back some painful memories. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)

Monday, the king of bad days, I had my appointment with Dr. #1 to get some x-rays and see what my hip looks like. It's been awhile since a) I saw Dr. #1, and b) anyone saw what my hip looked like. The radiation people took some images of my hip every so often, but that was just to make sure they were zapping the right spot. Nobody knew what to expect, except that the tumor would probably look bigger than it did at first, in large part because that's what the radiation does. It shuts off all cells in the area, swells the tumor, and then after radiation stops, the cells turn back on and kill the bad cells, i.e. the tumor, which then alleviates the pain and allows me to walk again (fingers crosses, that's the goal, at least).

So, I meet L in Dr. #1's office Monday morning, and immediately was asked to drop my pants. Not a bad way to start the week, right fellas? However, this had nothing to do with getting freaky, and had everything to do with progress. Stupid Monday! 4 x-rays later, I was escorted to the exam table and told to wait for Dr. #1. He's a pretty young guy, and I've met him out of the office before, so we have developed somewhat of a friendly rapport. He calls me 'dude' and 'man', and gives L a hug when he sees us. Basically, he's cool.

After conquering some sort of computer issue, another sign we should've picked up on, he pulled up the x-rays I had just taken. Before he even started talking, I could see the growth of the tumor. It looked bigger and definitely occupied more space in the gap between my femur and pelvis, but that was about all I recognized. Until he started to explain that now my femur (the ball of the ball-and-socket joint) looked like it was being eroded. Essentially, I have a hockey puck instead of a tennis ball. A pancake instead of a bagel. A Frisbee instead of a softball. The tumor, which has been munching on the end of the bone for the last 4 weeks, wore down so much of my bone that instead of being completely round, it's flat on the end of the ball. I now have the exact cliche of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Dr. #1 explained why this happens in people, how it goes down and what can be done to fix it. The moral of the story is that I am a perfect candidate for a hip replacement. To perform that, they remove the entire ball and attach a fake one (plastic, metal, or any other material deemed necessary to provide me with as much functionality as possible.) Now, Dr. #1 did say that a lot of this is beyond his normal scope of exams and nothing he was saying was final or exact, nor would it be until the swelling of the tumor subsided. But, when the words 'you might not play basketball again' came out of his mouth, I was shocked. I almost threw up right on the exam table. It felt like I swallowed a basketball!

I'd like to say I stormed out of there and became more determined than ever to beat this thing. The truth is, I'm not doing much storming out of anywhere these days. I move as fast on crutches as elephants do on ice skates. The only difference is they still move when they wipe-out. I'm stuck for a couple minutes - in terrible pain and usually embarrassed. Nevertheless, he did give me another goal to aim for, and I am promising all of you that I will play basketball again. It might not be as quickly as I played before, and it might not be at the same level (not that I was anything spectacular, but I like to think I could hold my own), but I know I'm going to play again.

Friday we go to the appointment at UM. We're meeting with a lung specialist to get his thoughts on what the source is of my cancer, and to hear his suggestions for treatment. We're hoping to meet with an orthopaedic doctor, too, so we can hear some other suggestions about my leg and see if there are any sort of immediate, or somewhat immediate, pain relief recommendations. And after we get that info, next Wednesday is my follow-up with Dr. #4. We'll take the results from Friday and form a plan. Finally, we can see the light!

Today, I'm still not able to move my leg without hand-assistance, and I'm still in a lot of pain if I move my leg the wrong way or too quickly. For instance, getting in the shower takes me actually lifting my right leg over the tub wall. I can drive, but to get into the car I have to sit down, then lift my leg into the car with my hands. Not pretty, but it gets the job done. And, last night we did take another giant step in the right direction...I finally slept in a bed!! Well, on an air mattress.

Don't worry, we didn't abandon the dungeon, aka The Master Suite (see previous posts), but my little corner of the couch is now open for other butts. There might be a serious impression left behind, but please, feel free to have a seat. After 41 days and nights of sleeping upright on the sofa, I was finally fed up. L helped me hobble into place, we rotated the TV, turned on the faux fireplace, and I laid vertical. There were some minor adjustments every couple minutes (flexing my leg, moving it to the side, straightening it, etc...), but I was finally able to fall asleep. And except for a couple dreams cut short so I could pee, I made it through the night uninterrupted.

The 1 step forward, 1 step back pattern continues. We don't seem to be getting anywhere, at least not quickly, but the sun was out today (we hit over 40 degrees) and spring break is next week for my students. So I know we're getting somewhere, and results can't be too far away!

SHOUT-OUT FOR TODAY - Isabella Rae was born the other night to some of our closest friends. Mom and baby are doing well, and we are so happy to have another member to our group. Congrats Flava Dave and Amber!