Big Plans!

You're probably tuning in, hoping that we know the answers to all the questions we've been asking the last month or so. At the same time, you're probably still a little weary that all of a sudden we've made a decision about either starting chemo or doing the lung surgery. Right?! Well, give yourself a pat on the back....partial credit!

Last week, because my neck is still killing me and not getting better, we scheduled a CT scan (neck, chest, abdomen and pelvis). This had to be done either way because the lung surgeon wanted to see an updated picture. More on him, Dr. #9, in a second. I did the CT scan and assuming nothing showed up in my neck, I figured I'd be scheduling surgery at some point this week or next.

Not so fast my world-wide-webbies! L and I went to The D this past weekend to see some family and have a relaxing weekend away from our GRap basement. We did see lots of family, and it was a good visit. While we were there, however, Dr. #3 and Dr.#4 called us with some concerns that showed up in the CT scan. Dr. #3 suggested that he didn't think the radiation worked because of how the hip tumor looked, and that I should get that fixed right away. Dr. #4 basically shared the same info, but added some good news that the lung tumor appears to be the same as it was 2 months ago. SCORE!

Among other points of focus, Dr. #3 also mentioned that there seemed to be some spreading in my pelvis. Very small spots that weren't there before, and that was his reason, mainly, for wanting to get that tumor out asap. So, while at DBone's, we worked closely with Auntie R to schedule an appointment first thing Monday morning with Dr. #8. She is an orthopedic oncologist....of which there are none in the GRap area. Luckily, she was able to see me then and we discussed why I need the surgery, why she isn't concerned about the little spots because she can take those out, too, and what I can expect after the surgery.

Unfortunately, she shares the same belief with Dr. #1, that my days of athletics, as I know them, are most likely numbered. No contact or quick-changing-directions sports, i.e. no more softball, basketball, tennis, etc... Expect to see a lot more of me on the golf course, that's all I can say. The news was pretty traumatic for me because I've never not been active in sports, and just 2 months ago I was playing in a basketball league in my new hometown. Life goes on, I guess.

We didn't have all the films necessary for Dr. #8 to look at, so I'm awaiting a call back from her today to verify that surgery is appropriate and schedule a time. The hip replacement would be about a 3 hour surgery with a 4-5 day hospital stay. The good news is I'd be pain free (except sore from the surgery) immediately, and I'd be walking on both legs (with crutches or a walker for a bit) the next morning. Dr. #8 says its about 3-4 weeks with the walking help, maybe 1-2 weeks with a cane and then I'm on my own. Biking, swimming, hiking....those are the types of activities I'll be limited to. But, I'll be alive to do them!

So, with all that in mind, L and I headed back to GRap for some more fun this week. Yesterday we met with the lung surgeon, the aforementioned Dr. #9. He explained his surgery, which would be a couple hours and require about 3 days in the hospital. I'd get a cool battle wound in the middle of my ribs on my right side, but that's about it. He said, 'You won't like me the day after or the day after that. You're gonna be pretty sore, and I'd suggest an epidural for the pain." STOP! Seriously?? So I will be able to experience the pain a woman goes through when giving life? Can this wait??

L and I told Dr. #9 the plans about the hip and all the info we had (and you read above), and he agreed with treating the hip first. He says if that's spreading and we can get some tissue from there that can be tested to determine a source, get that taken care of. He doesn't suggest waiting long to do the lung resection, but it can wait. We set up a consult to go back and visit him in a month and we'll see where we're at then.

It's possible that the hip tissue will come back and we will know the source. If it's lung cancer, we'll test for Tarceva eligibility. If it's something else, it would most likely mean chemo. But, it would be a specific chemo, i.e. something specific for the type of cancer I have, not just a general one that doesn't focus on a specific area.

All in all, the hip surgery seems to be the best option. It's really scary and in my mind, for some reason, it feels like I'm defeated because I won't be able to do what I love most every summer - softball. But, I understand it needs to be done, so I'm willing to do it.

That's all for now. I have an MRI Friday on my neck just to make sure there isn't anything in there except for a twisted muscle from bad sleep or maybe a small pinched nerve. Assuming that goes well, we're planning on having the surgery next week (Dr. #8 said she'd be able to get me in then). More updates to follow...and you'll definitely know the plan of action before I go under the knife.

****On a personal note, the world lost a great person this past week. Pete W., an almost-identical-twin to the famous Croc Hunter, was a college friend of mine and of so many others. He was a great guy who never had anything bad to say about anyone. He was creative, smart, funny and had an aura of confidence that made him stand out despite usually being the quietest one in the room. Pete will be terribly missed by everyone, but never forgotten! We send our love and prayers to his family as they remember him this week and forever.*****

The Root of the Problem

Well, it's been several days since we last stopped in so I thought I'd drop a quick line. After much discussion, and lots of going back and forth on operation vs chemo, we are still undecided. We actually have something in mind, but we're not going to go on record yet. Surprisingly, the most recent news is that B has developed a serious neck pain...contrary to popular belief of B being a pain in the arse...he is a pain in the neck....hahahaha.

This has been going on for about 3 weeks now, and it is raising concern. Initially, we thought it was just because he couldn't sleep on his bad side. The pain didn't start until we started sleeping in a bed again, so we assumed it was all related. Now, we're not so sure. We phoned into the medical oncologist and we have a scan on tap for today. They plan to take a peep at the neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis. This is being done to make sure that the cancer has not spread and that the lung tumor is about the same size. This will also come into play with our decision making process, which we will disclose in our future posts. Auntie R has been such a big help and we have a path in mind, but are just waiting for things to come down the line.

In addition to the stiff neck, B has been complaining of face, ear, and neck pain. It was only after talking with trusty ol' Nanc again that it came to light that maybe B was feeling some of these secondary symptoms related to a tooth ache. Again, I was left questioning Nanc, but followed her advice and got B into the dentist. Well believe it or not....B had a ROOT CANAL YESTERDAY.....what? I mean come on, right?! I know most of you are thinking this is some kind of joke, but no lie....B went under the gas and had a root canal.

I was left laughing, thinking 'enough already'. B reports that he is feeling better, however his neck still hurts, and we hope that the scan of the neck comes back all clear. If so, we'll probably seek a chiropractor, or possibly someone to try acupuncture. Anything to get rid of the neck pain...I don't think he's slept more than a few hours the past couple nights because of it.

I have to believe that we are going to catch a break soon. B reports, though, that his face and ear are much better. He also found out that he has a cavity and has a scheduled cleaning and repair on the calendar for Monday. Holy Cow. And what leaves me speechless is that B never complains. I am the one complaining...."L you are the weakest link, goodbye".

Speaking of Monday - here's what B's day looks like. Physical Therapy consult at 8:30. We're hoping we can re-teach B to walk soon, so that his quality of life can improve. At 11, B is meeting with a nutritionist to discuss dietary measures...it's been a challenge to keep B's weight on, so we're turning to a pro for some advice. And then at 1:30 B will be getting his teeth cleaned, get a filling and have the root canal temporary filling removed, and a permanent one put on. Yikes! I'd rather be working.

We also have a pulmonary surgery consult scheduled for Tuesday....this is a hint in what to expect with future posts. We hope to have some concrete info by then, and I promise we will let you in on all the details as soon as we have them.

On a high note, yesterday marked the end of our bowling season. And I'd like to give a shout out to J. W. Lips and the Pinners! We ended the season with a bang by taking out the highest seeded team. These guys didn't lose a match all season, and had only lost 16 points up until last night. Well, we took all 7 points last night and clinched at least a tie for 4th...possibly 3rd! And B won MVP...maybe not based on high score, but he showed up every week and bowled no matter how bad he felt. He even has a trophy to prove it (thanks Mr. Kiss). Let's just say we have the best friends in the world. We are lucky to have The Kisses in our lives. B and I know that next season can only be better. I mean, come on, we started the season with the news of cancer, and ended with no direct plan on tap yet....it can only get better right?!

Seriously though, thanks so much to The Kisses. You guys are awesome, and it's been so nice to spend the last 10 Wednesday nights (and all the time on the weekends) with you guys. Can't wait til' May 12th....season 2 begins!


Well thanks again to all of our followers, and we promise for a better update in the next few days, so stay tuned.

what to do......

B and I had our much anticipated follow up appointment with Dr. #4 on Wednesday. This was the appointment where we were to find out the best course of treatment...Tarceva or Chemo. And we even were expecting to begin it Wednesday, too. So we thought. Where we left off last week was that Dr. #4 was going to work on getting the sample from the hip biopsy sent off for the genetic testing to determine if B is a good candidate for Tarceva. What we ended up finding out was that the sample from the hip biopsy could not be used for the genetic test. Dr. # 4 explained that the sample was decalcified, meaning it was stripped of all the tissue they were trying to read. Therefore, it was completely useless, so to speak, for the genetic testing. Both B and I were sitting there with our eyes glued to the Dr's glasses wondering what this means. What's next?

This was probably the most-informative visit we've had to date. Dr. #4 explained that at this point we have several options and that B and I are going to have to spend the weekend talking over some things. Without further ado, the treatment nominees are:



Option Numero Uno
We can opt to have the tumor in B's lung removed. It is the hope of the team that the lung tumor will yield enough sample to be used in the genetic test. However, B, would have to undergo a medium surgery that would result in a 3-4 day hospitalization. There is also a risk that they could collapse his lung...again...been there done that, and that he could get an infection. Same risks as any surgery. It'd be general anesthesia, so those risks exist. However, with B's age and health, Dr. #4 is confident those risks would be reduced. The surgery is called a 'Wedge Resection.'

The Dr. also said that because the tumor is mostly cystic and, for lack of a better word, strange, there is a risk that the tumor may not give enough sample tissue for testing, and all of this would be done for nothing (except the peace of mind that there is no tumor in the lung). On top of that, there is also a risk/chance that B will not have the genetic mutation and that would rule him out of the Tarceva option, meaning chemo would be the treatment plan (about 50% of non-smokers have the mutation - of course, had to be 50/50, right?!). Also, with surgery we would not be able to start treatment for up to 6 addition weeks - scheduling, consult, recovery time, etc....

On the positive side, if things go well and the surgeon does get enough tissue sample, we will have a better read on what we are dealing with and may be able to receive a treatment option that is pin-point accurate for his cancer (either Tarceva or a specific Chemo regimen for a specific type of cancer). We will also be able to know for sure whether or not the lung is the source of the tumor.

Option Numero Dos
We opt out of the surgery and start chemo as early as next week. The chemo is more abrasive then the Tarceva, and it would be a more general chemo since they are not completely certain that the lung is the source cancer. The team would hope that the chemo would work to shrink the tumor and they would check in on B's response to the chemo every couple months.

With B having hardly any symptoms, the only way to gauge progress is to do a CT scan and check to make sure the cancer is not spreading and that the tumor is shrinking. However, there is no way to know that the Tarceva would have been a better option since they would not run the genetic mutation test. Again, the Dr's have said that about 50% of non smokers have the mutation and that if you have the mutation, Tarcava is best. But, if you don't have the mutation, chemo is best. And they wouldn't give B the Tarceva without knowing for sure he has the mutation.

Option Numero Tres
We opt to start chemo next week and then see how B does. God forbid, just as the Dr said, we could always do a biopsy later down the road, IF more tumors surface, to run the genetic mutation test. If that does happen, and we find out at that time that B does have the mutation we would then switch over to Tarcava. However, if we do start chemo, and another tumor does show up, we would have to stop chemo treatment for 3 weeks before having any operation. This is because one of the chemo drugs causes blood vessel growth and this could cause serious surgery complications.

Essentially, the question is do we have surgery and hope there is enough tissue, or do we start chemo and hope that works and nothing else pops up and the existing tumor shrinks. Obviously, each side has its pros and cons.

Auntie R has been helping us with this HUGE decision since there are a ton of things to weigh. We just want to make sure that we are doing the right thing. She has talked with the Dr. from U of M and he recommends that we just start the chemo. He does not seem to think it will benefit B to have the surgery, since it is a medium surgery. Dr. # 4 is leaning more towards removing the tumor. He feels that B will recover just fine and that we may find out more info.

Auntie R also has a call into a friend who used to work at Cleveland Clinic and we are hoping to get another opinion and more info. She doesn't think that we can make a bad decision and that it might help B mentally to have that tumor out of the lung. The down side of that, is if he has the surgery for nothing it might make him feel worse, since we would then have delayed any treatment for 6 weeks with an end result being chemo, which was an option right from the start.

Can anyone else say awwwww.......What the heck, goodness gracious, holy crap, good gravy. We both felt hopeful, but my goodness. I guess we both never thought that we would have to make such an important decision this soon into our married life. I guess I figured we would be having conversations about stating a family or our next vacation, but these decisions seem like nothing compared to making a selection about B's treatment.

B is feeling better, and this week he was able to lift his leg for a few seconds without the aid of his hand...can you say progress! We slept in the bed all week, and his neck is getting better. Also, he started his phosphonate treatment, which is used to help in strengthening the bone in his hip. In the long run, this will be well worth the 30 minute IV drip. Today and yesterday, though...not so much! The side effects of getting this treatment cause bone pain. Sometimes severe, sometimes mild. Based on B's facial expressions, moans and groans, and overall pain last night...I'd say his was more on the severe side! Wherever there's a lot of bone marrow, there's a risk of the pain. So yesterday B started having chest pains, which was scary, but we then realized (and the nurse explained) this is the side effect kicking in. Hopefully it runs its course in the next day or so.

This phosphonate treatment goes once every 3 weeks for the entire course of B's additional treatment. There are additional things to add, which I will do in a follow up post, but these mini hands are getting tired from typing. We are hanging in there, and I know in my heart we will make the right decision. Stay tuned for more info.

Thanks again for stopping in for the update, and enjoy the Madness! We're trying to. Go Green. Go White. Go State!

One foot in front of the other

B and I are taking the approach of one foot in front of the other. After our meeting at U of M, we had some of our darkest days. As you know, I was feeling very sick and on Sunday B came down with what we thought was the flu. I called the on-call Dr. who said that it would be best to take him to the ER. That was the last thing that I wanted to do and had a feeling it would end up being a crazy trip...nothing more crazy than our cousin's trip to the ER for gas...HAHA....you know who you are, but crazy nonetheless. B couldn't sit still, he was sweating, had the goose bumps and developed a mild case of OCD-like behavior.

We decided to weather the storm but it was a long day...followed by a few more very long days. This could not have come at a worse time, and B really thought that he was dying. I think Katy Perry best describes how B felt....hot then cold, yes then no, very little up, but lots of downs. It was so bad that I stayed home from work on Monday to rest, take a trip to the Dr. for myself, and hang out with B. We went out to lunch, and it was a train wreck....except right before the part where we were derailed, we were miraculously saved with 3 free cupcakes!

I guess the random acts of kindness are helping us get thorough this tough time. Actually, the day we got the worse news...last Friday...we stopped at Dairy Queen to get something to relieve our minds. As I walked in, I was crying...baby tears, but obviously distraught. The lady in front of me noticed and asked me what was up....actually, her words were, "your man givin' you trouble, baby?" Of course, I replied yes...ain't that the truth. I filled her in on the cancer and the recent Dr visits, and out of nowhere she gave me a huge hug and I ended up getting 3 free blizzards out of the deal. The guy behind the counter overheard the conversation so he threw some coupons my way. I guess that cancer does have an upside.

Anyways, back to the sickness. It was only until late last night that we figured out what was going on with B. B decided that it would be a good idea to go off his meds...at what pace, was unbeknown to me. As of last week, B was taking between 25-28 pills a day. On Saturday, he decided to go off his meds cold turkey. B's symptoms matched that of a 14 year crack addict. He had class A withdrawal. And believe it or not, Momma Nanc was the first to mention this and I completely ignored the advice...thinking Nanc was just throwing stuff out there and hoping something stuck. It was only until DBone mentioned it last night to B that we figured out B was not dying, it was merely a case of withdrawal. So, he went back on some of the meds, and will slowly ween off of them. After a day of doing this, his optimism is back where it was when this started and he feels 100% better. And my cold/respiratory infection is feeling better, too.

As for the appointment this week, things went a bit better. Dr. #4 was much more optimistic. He told us that we have to find a balance of hope with realism. He said that nothing about B's case is normal so there is no way to make a clinical diagnosis for this case. Dr. #4 said that the stats are very scary and that Dr # 7 gave us correct info, however we need to have hope. If you look online, which we try not to do, the numbers are not great. But, then again, you won't find many 28 year olds who have this diagnosis. So, what does that mean?! Dr # 4 mentioned that the amount of cancer in B's lung is very small. Most of the tumor is cystic and that there is hardly any cancer in the lung. Most of the cancer is in the leg and they have already treated that. Speaking of which, B is getting more relief there, too. We've been sleeping in our bed the last few nights, he can lay on his good side now for a full night (which he couldn't do until last week), and he can lay on his bad side for a few minutes at a time. He's still on crutches, but we know we're only a matter of weeks away from him being able to walk on his own.

Back to Dr. #4. We discussed taking phosphonates (bone-strengthening meds) to strengthen the hip, and we are going to couple those with a multi-vitamin. Dr. # 4 also agrees with the treatment options, and we are now just waiting to find out about the genetic mutation. If that comes back positive, which would be ideal, B will start taking Tarceva as early as next week. If it comes back negative, then chemo will be the course. No matter the course, we're just anxious to get started on some treatment.

Back to something I mentioned above...B and I were able to sleep in our bed the last couple nights. These were the first times in over two months, and I almost cried. Yes, I'm an easy crier. But, seriously, we've been in our basement every night for the last two months. I was so out of the 'bed routine', that yesterday I overslept my alarm and could barely get out of bed. Regardless, it is so nice to be in the bed again. And we're not the only one's to enjoy it! Gato and Perro
could not be happier either. We had a huge party in the bed...so that is progress. B's leg is feeling better, and with each day comes a small amount of relief. B is also no longer bleeding when he goes # 2...another small, no this is a large, victory! It seems like we are getting things in check and are settling onto our new path.


B has a brain MRI today and that marks the last test on tap. Dr. #4 said this is more of a formality, and he doesn't expect to see anything, and in fact, he said he 'would be shocked' if there was anything, but it needs to be done so we can be certain. Things are looking up, finally!



Also, thanks again for all your comments and shared stories. You guys have been great, and all the encouraging success stories help us get through the rough patches. We know B will be lecturing on survival soon enough, and your stories are giving us the hope and power of prayer to get to that point. Thank you!

Updates

This week ended with our appointment at U of M. It all started early Friday morning when we woke up, packed the car, and bid farewell to gato and perro. We headed out on our mission to meet with Dr. # 7 to finally get some answers to the many questions we have. We met B's Auntie R, who, lucky for us is a Dr. herself, and brings a calming sense that always makes us feel better in wake of any bad news that we have received up to this point. Not to mention she knows what questions to ask and what the answers mean.

U of M is a very nice facility and B checked in and received the fancy 'blue card', which we were told was of utmost importance to keep with us at all times, and we were on our way to meet with Dr. #7. We were put into a room and waited for quite a bit of time before meeting with said Dr. #7. We first met with his PA Lindsay....even spells it the same way, so I thought that maybe today would be our day. We brought her up to speed on everything that was going on since the start of the diagnosis, and then she started to talk about treating B. It was not sounding great and both B and I had blank stares on our faces. I preceded to tell her that we have yet to receive any info on the stage and grade of the cancer or the prognosis. She said she would be sure to pass that info onto Dr. #7, and he would be in soon to answer any questions and give us a better read on what we are dealing with.

We waited again for some time before the mighty Dr. #7 came in. He was very nice, but very direct. Which, considering all the sugar-coating we've gotten the last couple months, was fine with us. He explained to all 3 of us that B's cancer was stage IV. He said that the cancer is stage IV because the tumor has left the place of origin and has traveled to a different place in the body...his hip. He said that at this point taking out the tumor would make no difference on the outcome or prognosis. He said the "damage is done", so to speak, and if they did take the tumor out that it would likely come back. He said that there is a very good chance that other areas of B's body are infected with cancer, but the cells are very microscopic and will most likely show up at some point. So, even if we took out the lung tumor, which was Dr. #4's intention, there was no reason to believe that would cure everything.

Both B and I were expecting much different news. I guess I had the expectation that they would just take the tumor out and chemo him and that we would be on our way. Dr. #7 then told us that the cancer is treatable but not curable. I guess you could say that at this point of the appointment I blacked out. I actually had to leave the room, but thank goodness Auntie R was there to take in all the clinical info. Dr. #7 said that B is not in a great place right now. He hopes that we will be able to treat the cancer with Tarceva, a new drug that is used in patients with this stage and type of cancer. The Dr. is hopeful and said that patients have had some good response to this drug. In one particular patient the drug has worked to shrink the tumor and manage the cancer from spreading to other places in the body for seven years...and it is still working to date. Instead of the usual two month check-ups, that patient is now only visiting the Dr. on a bi-yearly basis.

We hope that B has the same result to this treatment, but we have a few more tests to undergo to make sure that he is a good candidate.....a brain scan and a check of the tissue in the hip tumor to make sure his tumor has two types of genetic mutations. Dr. speak for 'if there's nothing in the brain and there's two types of reactions with the sample tissue, we can proceed with this new drug -- instead of chemo." The advantage of this new drug would be reduced and less extreme side effects than chemo. B could also continue being 'normal', meaning he could travel, work, play, etc...instead of being glued to the toilet, couch and floor. As B said, though, even if he is ineligible for the new drug, chemo isn't a bad 2nd option. We all know the benefits that has had on someone close to us.

If B has to do chemo, it would run in three week cycles for six treatments. After two months, B would follow up to see if he is responding to the treatments. It is our hope that B beats this thing...one way or another. Like Auntie R said...B isn't a statistic, HE'S B, and nothing about this is normal so what we need to do is wait and see. We have options, and we are going to try everything we can...and B is super tough, that's why I married him.

So we need to pray that B can start taking some medicine...and soon. At this point, we don't really care about his hip. B would rather focus on beating this then worrying about the hip. I think his exact words were, 'F the hip. If I have to be on crutches for the rest of my life that's fine with me...as long as I can live."

To be honest, these past few days have been really really hard. We both have broken down many different times. I am so worried about B, but find hope in thinking of my grandma, who was given a similar diagnosis many years ago... and her cancer went away and she lived on with her life. I know there is a plan and this is just a journey that we are on together. Unfortunately, we are both sick....I have a respiratory infection and today B woke up with the flu...we think. We need a break, and I have a feeling that something good is about to happen.

I wish there was a way to make this blog funny, but there was nothing funny about our Friday appointment and there has been nothing funny since. Sorry for the lack of humor this time, we just had to get the info out there because we know a lot of you have been waiting to hear how it went Friday. I wish we had better news, or a better prognosis. However, we're still confident that everything will return to semi-normal. We're still optimistic the radiation will do its job and help return B to normal use of his leg. Our feeling is that if he can begin walking and moving around without the crutches, we can start to, at least, feel normal again. Until next time, keep hope alive, keep praying, and keep sharing stories of hope. There's no way to thank all of our readers for the strength and encouragement and support you all provide. But just know we are very thankful, and we appreciate your love. Thank you!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Last week ended with the much welcomed reunion of L and B. The 3 days L was gone were the longest 3 days since we've been married. Not that DBone or Kid Bro did anything wrong, but imagine the same person making your favorite meal with just the right amount of seasoning for 3 years, every day, the same way every time. Then imagine that person left town and hired 2 complete strangers to come in and try to duplicate the feat. Same food, same plates, same cooking styles, and same recipe. But, for some reason, it just doesn't taste the same. It's missing that little pinch of L!

Needless to say, this weekend was some of the best home-cookin' I done ever had! Sure, Friday night was about as exciting as the regular bingo game down at the VFW, but still. My lil' pinch of L was back, and I've never been more excited to see her.

Saturday, fresh off one of the worst nights of sleep either of us have had since this whole episode started, we decided to try and make it a productive day. The definition of 'productive', as you can guess, has changed just slightly since 2010 began. For instance, it is now considered productive to shower. Shaving is also a task deserving a round of applause. Standing upright for more than 30 seconds isn't easy these days. When I stand for too long my feet start to get numb, my ankles start to itch and I have to sit down. As I told Big D the other day, the beard I'm growing now isn't my playoff beard inasmuch as it's the 'I can only stand for 30 seconds at a time, so what you see is what you get and what you get is all I could handle shaving today so deal with it' beard.

Anyways, a few minor cuts, a towel full of sweat and a sink full of stubble later, we were a third of the way through that productive Saturday! Grocery shopping is out of the question, but since we were bringing dinner to The Kisses, we had to pick up a few things. L describes her experience that night as "Supermarket Sweep on crack." No inflatable beer bottles, no free groceries, and no matching sweatshirts, but she was in and out of that place faster than you can say metastasis adenocarcinoma.

Dinner at The Kisses was awesome. Our fridge became so full we had to start feeding our friends, so we brought some soup, salad, biscuits, an entree and an entire apple pie to their place. It was all delicious, but much to our surprise, we still came home with some leftovers. Nothing a few late night snacks can't take care of, though. Since I don't drink any more these days (something about combining booze and a stomach full of pills just doesn't seem right), L took care of both our combined BAC's that night. A couple games of euchre (for those non-Midwesterners, Google it) later, we had indeed completed a very productive Saturday. And, on top of all that, Sunday, we knew, would be full of some of the best sports watching in recent memory.

USA hockey was at 3, MSU was at 4, and some great NBA games were mixed in there, too. The Americans couldn't get the job done, but they put up a a great fight and made us proud that we could claim Ryan Miller as one of us. He was, after all, on the Spartan hockey team when we were freshmen....the same year Mateen, Mo, Charlie, Big Al, Jason, et al were busy winning a title in hoops!

Unfortunately for us, Sunday was the end of our winning streak. We should've known that night when our favorite show, The Amazing Race, was getting on our nerves. That used to be the one show we could watch, no matter how crappy the weekend was, and daydream about. We'd put ourselves in each Road Block, Detour or foot race and figure out how we would've done. Not this Sunday. There were cheaters, idiots and famous people! Come on CBS, do we really need to see Ms. Teen South Carolina? Again? (Remember her? Think: Maps, Iraq, such as) This should help bring back some painful memories. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)

Monday, the king of bad days, I had my appointment with Dr. #1 to get some x-rays and see what my hip looks like. It's been awhile since a) I saw Dr. #1, and b) anyone saw what my hip looked like. The radiation people took some images of my hip every so often, but that was just to make sure they were zapping the right spot. Nobody knew what to expect, except that the tumor would probably look bigger than it did at first, in large part because that's what the radiation does. It shuts off all cells in the area, swells the tumor, and then after radiation stops, the cells turn back on and kill the bad cells, i.e. the tumor, which then alleviates the pain and allows me to walk again (fingers crosses, that's the goal, at least).

So, I meet L in Dr. #1's office Monday morning, and immediately was asked to drop my pants. Not a bad way to start the week, right fellas? However, this had nothing to do with getting freaky, and had everything to do with progress. Stupid Monday! 4 x-rays later, I was escorted to the exam table and told to wait for Dr. #1. He's a pretty young guy, and I've met him out of the office before, so we have developed somewhat of a friendly rapport. He calls me 'dude' and 'man', and gives L a hug when he sees us. Basically, he's cool.

After conquering some sort of computer issue, another sign we should've picked up on, he pulled up the x-rays I had just taken. Before he even started talking, I could see the growth of the tumor. It looked bigger and definitely occupied more space in the gap between my femur and pelvis, but that was about all I recognized. Until he started to explain that now my femur (the ball of the ball-and-socket joint) looked like it was being eroded. Essentially, I have a hockey puck instead of a tennis ball. A pancake instead of a bagel. A Frisbee instead of a softball. The tumor, which has been munching on the end of the bone for the last 4 weeks, wore down so much of my bone that instead of being completely round, it's flat on the end of the ball. I now have the exact cliche of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Dr. #1 explained why this happens in people, how it goes down and what can be done to fix it. The moral of the story is that I am a perfect candidate for a hip replacement. To perform that, they remove the entire ball and attach a fake one (plastic, metal, or any other material deemed necessary to provide me with as much functionality as possible.) Now, Dr. #1 did say that a lot of this is beyond his normal scope of exams and nothing he was saying was final or exact, nor would it be until the swelling of the tumor subsided. But, when the words 'you might not play basketball again' came out of his mouth, I was shocked. I almost threw up right on the exam table. It felt like I swallowed a basketball!

I'd like to say I stormed out of there and became more determined than ever to beat this thing. The truth is, I'm not doing much storming out of anywhere these days. I move as fast on crutches as elephants do on ice skates. The only difference is they still move when they wipe-out. I'm stuck for a couple minutes - in terrible pain and usually embarrassed. Nevertheless, he did give me another goal to aim for, and I am promising all of you that I will play basketball again. It might not be as quickly as I played before, and it might not be at the same level (not that I was anything spectacular, but I like to think I could hold my own), but I know I'm going to play again.

Friday we go to the appointment at UM. We're meeting with a lung specialist to get his thoughts on what the source is of my cancer, and to hear his suggestions for treatment. We're hoping to meet with an orthopaedic doctor, too, so we can hear some other suggestions about my leg and see if there are any sort of immediate, or somewhat immediate, pain relief recommendations. And after we get that info, next Wednesday is my follow-up with Dr. #4. We'll take the results from Friday and form a plan. Finally, we can see the light!

Today, I'm still not able to move my leg without hand-assistance, and I'm still in a lot of pain if I move my leg the wrong way or too quickly. For instance, getting in the shower takes me actually lifting my right leg over the tub wall. I can drive, but to get into the car I have to sit down, then lift my leg into the car with my hands. Not pretty, but it gets the job done. And, last night we did take another giant step in the right direction...I finally slept in a bed!! Well, on an air mattress.

Don't worry, we didn't abandon the dungeon, aka The Master Suite (see previous posts), but my little corner of the couch is now open for other butts. There might be a serious impression left behind, but please, feel free to have a seat. After 41 days and nights of sleeping upright on the sofa, I was finally fed up. L helped me hobble into place, we rotated the TV, turned on the faux fireplace, and I laid vertical. There were some minor adjustments every couple minutes (flexing my leg, moving it to the side, straightening it, etc...), but I was finally able to fall asleep. And except for a couple dreams cut short so I could pee, I made it through the night uninterrupted.

The 1 step forward, 1 step back pattern continues. We don't seem to be getting anywhere, at least not quickly, but the sun was out today (we hit over 40 degrees) and spring break is next week for my students. So I know we're getting somewhere, and results can't be too far away!

SHOUT-OUT FOR TODAY - Isabella Rae was born the other night to some of our closest friends. Mom and baby are doing well, and we are so happy to have another member to our group. Congrats Flava Dave and Amber!