So it is early Sunday morning and B and I are up, again, before 7:30 in our new master suite. We have all one would ever need in a master suite: a big screen TV, a new faux fireplace, our Wii, oh, but wait, we don't have a bed. You see the new master suite is our finished basement in our rental house. And our new bed is our section couch. Well sometimes. Sometimes it's the old bean bag Big D made for us kids way back when. This bean bag is legendary. Historic in the Homrich family. Many pre-teen snuggle-sessions have occurred on the oversized hacky sack. Perhaps TMI....moving on. Since the diagnosis, B has found it too hard to sleep in a conventional bed so we have tried many things and have found that the best position is in a seated position...almost like stadium seating. Talk about a true love for sports! He generally goes from couch to bean bag, and then back again.
I, being the wimp that I am, can't stand sleeping alone so I have moved into the new master suite, too. Not to say that many a night B begged me to go upstairs and get a good night sleep. But what fun is it to sleep alone in a giant bed!?! I would find even a single bed giant, so to sleep alone in our bed, NO WAY. Even the dog and the cat join the party every night. Come to think about it, this is the most I've seen Jetta at night since we got Bear!
Alright enough about the master suite, back to B. As I said we are up before 7:30. I am up for 2 reasons: to help out B with his pain (he's not the best at remembering what time the next Vicodin body shot is), and to get ready for church.....I have a lot to pray about....throw me a bone, OK.
B had a pretty bad night. Much to our dismay the radiation has not helped with his pain yet. Actually, we think he is in more pain than he was pre-radiation. I try not to cry every minute. I wish I could do something but I truly am helpless. B woke up 2 times last night (a good night, by recent standards), as did I, and we re-medicated, applied heat, and tucked him back in. There is nothing worse than seeing the one you love with all your heart, go through this. It is a shame. But we will be stronger for this and so will our marriage. We are getting out all the "for worse" now, so we will have a full marriage left of "for better". If he didn't love me before, you bet your ass he does now.
Well, we have a lot to look forward to today....great friends are coming over to watch the Super Bowl with us. Unfortunately, leaving the house for B is out of the question. I am hoping for a Saints win, and that is because I am obsessed with Kim Kardashian...not Whats His Name Bush.
Well I hope my first blog was OK. As I said, not much of a writer. And I know soon enough we will be able to return to the true master suite. Signing off.
L
P.S. We were asked earlier how we handled finding out the news and how we are coping. To be honest, this is how we're coping. We try and stay as normal as possible, as long as possible. Finding a laugh in the small things has become a lot more meaningful. Which we're fine with. We love each other's company and love being with each other, so for us, in a really crazy way, this is special.
As for the day we found out. It was really a shock. Doctor #1 brought up the "C" word after the x-rays, but kinda dismissed it. Doctor #2 left us believing it certainly was nothing of the sort. But then when he called and gave us the news...well, he gave Ben the news, who then gave me the news at work, it was a major blow! I cried for a bit at work, but then realized how strong we are and how confident I was that we were going to beat this thing!! Still, it's tough to handle, and when I think about my husband of less than 6 months having cancer, I can't even breathe. But anyone who knows BMuttz, knows that he is a fighter and usually fights his way for what he wants. He wasn't handed much in life, but I love him and am proud to be his wife. As B said the other day and wrote on our calendar, about how we'll handle this....We got this!
