Tests of a Different Level

I come to hate the saying that thing can't get much worse, because in our case they can and they will. As most of you know B is still in the hospital. He has been here almost 2 weeks now. I have come to like most of the staff, but let's be honest, I wish I never knew any of them. So Friday wrapped up with the final few tests that all the Dr.'s had been waiting on. D-Bone and B's lil Bro came up to the hospital early and were there to support B while I attempted to work a full day. The first test was the hip aspiration. From what I can gather the procedure was a success and the radiologist was able to extract about 120-150mL of brownish fluid from B's hip. It was the hope of everyone here that this aspiration would relieve some of B's hip pain and would yield some improvement in his recovery and return home. The fluid has been sent out for analysis and we are still waiting to hear the results. I believe that Dr. # 4 and Dr. # 11 sent the fluid out for cytology to determine if the fluid was carrying cancer cells or not.

Immediately following this procedure B was then pushed away on his awesome stretcher for the completion of his MRI. The MRI imaged B's entire spine and hip and up until this point it has been impossible to get the test completed because laying flat on the MRI table causes B tremendous pain. So this time around they made B comfortable by using anesthesia, so they put him out like he was having surgery. This way the Dr.'s were able to get the studies complete and sent out for review. By the time I got to the room B was awake and in terrible pain. The problem is, Dr. # 15 ran a trial of prialt, the snail poison, on Thursdsay and it seemed to work. However the trail only lasted for about 6-8 hours, so by Friday morning B was back in terrible pain. As I understand the prialt is very expensive so the Dr.'s wanted to make sure it was going to give some relief before ordering a ton of it. Well it worked, but Dr. # 15 was unable to get enough of the drug to fill B's pump until Monday at 11 am. So they pretty much told us we were going to have a terrible weekend and that was just the way it was. So, as I said, by the time I got back to his room on Friday things were really bad. I had the RN page Dr. # 12 and both B and I requested conscious sedation. At this point we figured that putting B into a coma over the weekend would be the best alternative. Dr. # 12 didn't necessary agree so he doubled the dose of all the meds B was already on (morphine, dilaudid, ketamine, valium, methadone, decadron), and this pretty much put B into a catatonic state. By 1 am on Saturday, B had no idea who I was, or where we were. He was totally tripping, for real tripping. He was saying some of the craziest things and his eyes were moving so fast they would not focus.

Finally by Saturday morning B seemed a bit better and a bit more comfortable. D Bone came back to the hospital very early so that I could head home for a shower and to do a few things around the house. The plan was for her and B's lil Bro to head back to the D today, Saturday, for a break and to get caught up on some things back home. D Bone's plan was to come back on Monday, and hopefully get B back home. So I returned to the hospital around 12 or so and D Bone and B's lil Bro hit the road. B's dad and Stepmom were scheduled for a visit today so B and I just hung out until they got up to room 5272. The visit was going great until Jamie, Dr. # 4's PA, came into the room to check on B. For whatever reason I decided to ask her if the results were in from the MRI. I knew things were bad when she said " I had hoped you wouldn't asked, but since you did I am obligated to let you know what is going on". She proceeded to tell us that the MRI showed a ton on new cancer spots on his spine. She was very delicate and said that the on-call oncologist would be in within the hour to review things with us.

I was at a total loss for words. I really didn't expect them to tell us that the cancer had spread. I didn't even think that was an option. B just burst into tears and I followed suit. I mean how can this happen? Really more cancer? Haven't we had enough fun already? Isn't it time for a break? And by this time D Bone was nearly home. You know how hard it is to call D Bone with this news? It is terrible being the person who has to deliver news to a mother that her son's cancer has gotten worse. Not to mention we had a million questions and the PA was deferring all of them to the on-call onclologist. All we knew was that things were bad, but we weren't sure how bad. About 30 minutes later, B's Auntie R, the Dr., called us and had us write down some serious questions to ask the on-call oncologist. At this point neither B or I could get a grip. It seemed every time I stopped crying, I would start up again. I felt like our little nieces who cry hysterically when they misplace their blanket, but they're 3, I'm 29. I immediately called my parents and asked that they come up to the hospital and bring Bear. There is nothing better than seeing you very own dog, and we've been missing her, and I was sure that she would bring a smile to both our faces.

About an hour later the on-call oncologist came into the room to deliver the news. The cancer has spead, and quite a bit. He told us that B has a spot in every bone in his spinal column, about 30 new spots or so. The spots all vary in shape and size, from 2-3mm to 12-15mm. From a treatment stand point he said that the main goal is to get B comfortable and out of pain. So it could mean more radiation, chemo, or both at the same time. He told us that this is something that we will discuss at length with Dr. # 4 on Monday morning. He told us that the cancer is only in the bone and we should remain hopeful since in the past radiation has worked well to treat cancerous spots in the bone in B's case. He didn't really say much more other than he was sorry and that he would again be by to see us tomorrow. I seriously almost passed out. My hands were shaking so bad, and by this point B had pulled the sheet over his face. What a joke right? There is nothing to say. I feel helpless and like we are drowning and the surface keeps getting further and further away and it is getting harder and harder to reach air. I mean what are we supposed to do at this point? What does this mean? We also asked about the results of the hip biopsy and those came back negative, so I guess that is good.

So you can pretty much say we had a f-ing terrible, horrible, gut wrenching, exhausting, sleepless Saturday, how perfect! D Bone is heading back to GR agian today and she is bringing Auntie R. We need to figure out what to do from here. I think we agree that it is time to get a fresh set of eyes on B for real, but when and where? There is discussion about Karmonos, but I wonder if we should take him to Mayo, Texas, Kettering, anywhere that can help him. I would take him to China and carry him on my back if I had to. So I guess we will just have to wait and see. As for now we are all digesting this info, we certainly appreciate the thoughts and prayers and I will again update later this week once we have more information.

Oh and to add insult to injury, B has C Diff, need I say more!