Remember Me??

Web users, it's me, BMuttz! Howdy folks, how ya'll been?!? No, I didn't move to Texas, but it's been awhile since I've checked in with you guys, so I thought today would be as good as time as any to update you on how I've been....straight from the horse's mouth, for a change. You don't mind putting up with me for a bit, do ya? Good, thanks!

I know we've left the blog un-updated for a bit, but it's also been a lot of L updates of late, so what the heck. I'm sitting in chemo right now, so believe me, anything to kill some time is much welcomed. The most annoying thing about chemo days....nobody here acknowledges a difference between ESPN and The Deuce. Guys, ESPN2 is for low-budget hacks like Skip Bayless selling his worthless opinion on the poor souls like Jamele Hill and Jay Crawford (and his 2 different colored eyes - fo real!)

Seriously, if I have to be here at 9:45, you know I'm not getting in my full hour of SportsCenter that morning. Which means I need The Uno when I get here...not ESPN2! And yet, nobody here has taken my suggestion up on that very issue...uccch, HGTV and Sabrina Soto will have to do! At least until lunch.

Besides the semi-serious TV issue, sitting through chemo isn't too bad. Today is kinda rare because my usual sidekick, DBone, isn't here. I have orientation all day tomorrow for work and then we're heading to The D this weekend, so there wasn't much need for her to come all the way out to the westside this time around. Normally, we'll just sit here, watch some tube, read some old mags, maybe smoke her in some Gin Rummy, have lunch with L and then take off when all the drugs have entered this temple...I mean body. I mean stack of bones and skin and less and less muscle. Seriously, if you've ever seen a true marathoner or Ironmanner, this is the bod they have....I just wish I still had some muscle left. The pre-senior year HIGH SCHOOL body weight I am at now is kinda gross...seriously, I haven't seen this many chest bones since...uhhh, never?!?

So, today, without Madre at my side, there's just a little more time to occupy myself. But, since school is about to begin, I have been able to keep myself busy the last week and a half, or so. Making outlines, reading assignments, doing readings, updating websites and bio's (check it out - ) and all the other duties of getting ready for a new semester fill up plenty of my schedule. I don't think Bear has enjoyed her days back in the cage, but I know it sure feels good to finally be doing SOMETHING again. The Master Suite and I have had our special days together, but sorry big room in the basement, it's time to become adults again!

The big plan for today is to finish the reading assignments for my last class and then try and maybe dive into a Power Point or two...nice little Wednesday. Damn, we get lame as hell when we get old, don't we?!? Assuming I get that stuff done, lunch with L will be nice, and then I can head home and take care of the kids. Making a quick stop on the way, of course. Couldn't go all the way home without stopping at Woody's Cone Stop!

Oh, you haven't heard about the effects of the steroid I'm on, have you?!? Well, apparently it is made out of the same stuff that was used to create The Big Bang! It has essentially created a bottomless, endless, spaceless pit right below my rib cage and above my belly button! This newly created land mass has the ability to indulge in any and all food-related missions you can concoct. The US Army has been conducting research experiments within the inner realms of my stomach for the last few weeks. Seriously, my intake ability no permits me to consume up to 5 meals a day with no maximum calories. We're talking about 2 bowls of cereal for breakfast, a 3-4 course LUNCH (yes, LUNCH - anything from sandwich, EZ Mac, etc... to fruit, granola bars, sweets, etc...), dinner (as long as L gets home before 5:30), and pre-bed. This is a new meal, but consists of about the same amount of calories as a typical mid-day HEARTY snack. Add into that the potential for a meal between lunch and dinner and the daily large flurry from Woody's and we're approaching epic levels, folks! The crazy thing...I was able to gain a whopping 1.8 lbs in 2 weeks. Hahaha, I laugh at you appetite suppressors. BRING IT ON!!

Seriously though, it does feel good to have a full appetite. I was talking with my nurse this morning, and I think everyone in the cancer center would agree that it's always better to be on this side of the grass than the other! Just an added benefit from going into the hospital a couple weeks ago, I guess.

So, I will hit up Woody's tonight (usually I alternate between the Oreo and M&M large flurries, but I've been known to switch things up a bit - maybe a butterscotch or peanut butter shake. Sometimes just a simple cone with rainbow sprinkles. Who knows?!? Either way, if there's not a back-up in the freezer, you can expect to see the Protege or the Subaru at Woody's that night! The only issue with the shakes is that I still have some mouth and cold issues. These drugs I'm on have lots of different side effects, the most annoying of which I've experienced are an extreme sensitivity to cold (both in my mouth and hands/feet), some weird taste changes - like stuff just smells like it should, but when I eat it there's not the same connection, and also heartburn. The flurries, for some reason, don't bother the cold thing. But drinking the shakes kinda make it more of a pain. And the ice cream doesn't do any harm for the heartburn, but sometimes dinner does, so I gotta take it easy on the pace at which I destroy the flurry. Really though, all tolerable side effects to get the deliciousness into my belly!!

The heartburn has been pretty tolerable, too. It seems like some Tums has really taken care of it, knock on wood, so next time we're together, if you have some heartburn let me know...I promise I have some Tums in my pocket :) And probably some gum, too - without High Fructose Corn Syrup!

That's come about from my Space Research Team (SRT), and is something I've been really focusing on lately. I know sugar has its bad side effects, and especially with inflammation and some cancer cells, and blah blah blah. But thanks to my SRT on the west coast, we have found some linkage to the spreading of certain cancer cell types in HFCS. So, I thoroughly investigate the groceries I buy now and am doing everything I can to stay away from that ingredient. Did you know they put that stuff in ketchup?? How about Frosted Mini Wheats? I know, crazy, right?!? But good news...it's not in Blueberry or Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats! Or Life! Not even good ol' Cap'n Crunch has it. Hahaha, take that HFCS cereal busters!!!

Other developments from SRT have helped me ease some tension in the house and recovery process. Trying to shake this chest/rib pain, and surrounding areas, has really been a big challenge. There's just nothing to do to speed up the process. Every morning I wake up with a left arm that feels like it weighs 1000lbs. It's a true struggle to pull the comforter up to my pillow. But, I get out of bed, deal with it through breakfast and a shower and go on with the day. Eventually it kind of just 'loosens' a bit, and I can function. Not fully, and definitely not actively, but I can do what I need to do - type, drive, work, etc.... Golf is still not even close, not that I'm the only one not utilizing my talents, hmm hmm, but I am hoping to be able to play at least a couple times before my birthday in 2 months - and based on the last couple days, I would say that is realistic. The pain does seem to be getting less and less, but every night the smallest 'wrong move' can reset that day's progress. Something I'm dealing with, and getting used to - which means when it's healed, the appreciation will just be that much greater!

Lastly, my leg. Because I've been participating in the real life schedule of getting out of bed at normal hours, I've been the one taking Bear out in the morning as L heads into the office. These ventures give me the 5 minutes I need to do some stretching of my leg, and try to get that thing rehabbed. The problem in the past was, as we kind of figured out and were told, I was just trying to do too much too soon. The expectations that I would be able to walk the day after surgery and exercise in a couple weeks, etc.... were just not realistic for what I had already been through. Extensive radiation, plus going through chemo, just didn't provide a stable enough leg for me to 'workout' on. So, I pushed myself into an injury, basically. I eliminated the possibility of rehab because I went backwards in recovery.

So, I took a lot of time off from physical therapy exercises. The last couple weeks, I have felt strong enough to ease my way back in. So, I've been doing some of the basic things, and based on the soreness, we're doing things the right way this time. I'm not pushing anything, I'm really focusing on the 'do what you can do/patience' approach, and am hoping by the turn (or just before) of the calendar year, I'll be able to ditch the cane and do my New Year's Dance on 2 good legs!! At that time, I would also like to enjoy an adult beverage - my 3rd of 2010!! Yikes!!

BMuttz blogheads, I think that's about all I got. Thanks for stopping by and checking in. Feel free to post questions if you have them, and check back for answers. Or, just feel free to enjoy the reading. I really do appreciate everyone's support these last several months and it's been nice hearing from so many people I lost contact with. I know at some point we entered each other's lives for one reason or another, and I'm glad you appreciate that reason and re-connected with me if it's been awhile, or continue to be an instrumental part of my life if you're more of a, well, 'regular'.

Your wishes, support, advise, strength, stories and love help make each day enjoyable. I'm not the type of person who sits and thinks about the disease I have or talks about it regularly. I honestly try not to think about it. But it's nice to know that there is a group of you out there that I can come to when I do have something to say. Thanks for 'listening' to me and L. We love you, and WE GOT THIS!!