The Ugly Truth

B and I have been flying around in a holding pattern for what seems like years....more like 6 months, but I think that we are close to landing on the ground so to speak. The Dr.'s are finally getting some of the answers we have been waiting months for.

This past week B was scheduled for his MRI and CT scan. Actually both tests were moved up because B is in so much pain. So the truth comes out. The truth of the matter is that B is living in extreme daily pain. The pain is so bad that I really can't think of a time in the past 2 months where B was not rubbing his neck or leg, icing his neck or leg, heating his neck or leg, or moaning at any given point throughout every single day. The pain really starts to eat at you, and I would say that B and I are starting to crack up. Sure we do things to feel normal, like going to movies, or hanging out with family and friends, but the truth is the pain is still there. B lives by the clock and is constantly watching the hours until the next time he can take his non-working pain meds. B has a pill for everything, but the trouble is nothing helps with the pain. I know that it is best for the mental health to get out and do things but it is hard.....really, really hard! I guess the alternative is to crawl in bed and pull a blanket over my head and cry, but that is not going to do any of us any good. Everyone thinks that I am so strong, but I am really sensitive and there is not a day that I don't cry, so I guess my secret is out. It is terrible to see the person in the world that you have given your heart to suffer so much and not be able to help. Plain and simple B and I are living in hell! A perfect example is on Friday. B and I got a brand new Subaru Forester, exciting right? Well the man selling us the car said "Isn't this exciting, getting a new car", and neither B or I answered. The Ugly Truth is that nothing but your health matters, and when it is being threatened nothing really makes you happy. B is really suffering and it is not fair, so there is your ugly truth.

Now back to the matter at hand.....the scans came back and it appears that the lung tumor is about the same size. Dr # 3 said that the tumors on B's pelvis and L4 appear to be more spiral which could indicate that B is responding to treatment....I guess the spots look hollow so that is a good sign. Dr # 3 also said however that the spots on the neck appear to be marginally worse. The lesion has spread to the muscle belly on the right side, which is the reason that B is having additional neck pain. Dr # 3 recommended radiation of the neck and he hopes that this helps to kill the little bastards. He mentioned giving B a stronger dose this time around since B did not respond great to radiation in his hip. B is scheduled for 13 treatments and they start next week. Let's hope that radiation works this time around. So on Friday B completed the prep work, including getting his face cast with a mask, so that radiation can start on Monday.

We also got the results back from Cali, and I am sure you all want to know what is going on, but we still really don't know. We have not heard from Dr # 4 yet so we are just going to have to wait and see. The results are interesting, but we are not the ones to interpret them. Boy would I have things really messed up if I tried to figure out what the tests really said. There is a chance that Dr. # 4 may change B's chemo drugs based on these results, but again, we won't know until we talk to Dr # 4.

For now we are just going to continue on fighting. I am sure that these next few months are going to be pretty hard since B is having Chemo and radiation. This will likely knock B on his ass, but he is tough and he will get back up and continue on. We are making the best of the situation. We did spend some time this past weekend with friends and we were able to golf our first round of 18 this summer. And I might add that I holed out for a dirty birdie, pretty bad ass. We also visited the red neck yacht club and took the Party Barge out for a trip around Lincoln Lake, courtesy of Captain Morgan, I mean Captain Don Jr. Like I said...trying to make the best of the situation.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful holiday weekend. Come back for more info later this week.

Round 3

This week started pretty quite, however we knew that we were in for a long week, since this was a chemo week. D-Bone came in again for her regular 6 night stay at Hotel Muttz. And for the first time, she was able to sleep in the true guest bedroom, while we stayed upstairs in the Master Suite.

Tuesday started with our regular follow up appointment with Dr. # 4 before chemo treatment. The Dr. explained that today he was going to introduce a new chemo drug to the mix. This particular drug is very important but has not been used up to this point because it was dangerous to B before and after surgery. B was officially cleared and Avastin was officially added! Avastin works by blocking the formation of new blood vessels which in turn interferes with the growth of the tumours.....bada boom bada bing. Dr. # 4 also explained that we may change treatment again pending the results from Cali....we will get to that!!!!

Dr. # 4 also expressed that it might be beneficial for B to have some radiation in his neck. The neck is really killing B again and during the appointment I voiced concern about the neck and Dr. # 4 seemed to agree. B is scheduled for an MRI and CT scan this next week and the results from these tests will determine what will be done next. B also had an appointment on Friday with Dr. # 3 where they discussed what might be done with radiation. Dr. # 3 said that he will most likely schedule B for 15 treatments however, since B did not react very well the first time around, he will likely give him a stronger dose to kill those little leasons in the back and neck. So we go back to meet with Dr. # 3 again this Friday and we will develop a plan from there.

And now to address the Cali issue.....my blood pressue is already rising just typing this. So as you all know we have been waiting on a pathology report from Cali since B's surgery, almost 6 weeks ago. And as a recap, these results determine source tumor and directly deterrmine the medicine that B receives during each chemo. So at our appointment this week with Dr. # 4 the results were STILL not in. Auntie R started doing some digging late last week, and we found out that the tissue sample was never send. That is right the Beaumont pathology department never sent the sample. I was so upset when I got this message that I could not even say words when I called my mom at work. I would have used the F word, but that did not even begin to touch how ticked off I was. Does this person at Beaumont not realize that they are direclty affecting someone's life....no lie!!!! And to make matters worse they tried to blame it on the Cali lab, saying something to the effect that they needed a special kit to ship the sample in. Well I called Cali myself, and Beaumont did not need this special kit for 1, and if Beaumont did request the kit, it is shipped next day air. So bottom line, we should have had these results a long long long time ago. Both B and I were very very disappointed. It just seems that things never come easy for us. We were told that we should have the results early this week, and Dr. # 4 and his staff have been calling every day. The problem is there is not way to put a rush on the test....it takes 5 days no matter what!

Alright enough with the Debbie Downer stuff and onto the positives....Chemo was not as bad this time around, however the side effects were again different. B was very sore and is still not feeling great. Usually the chemo side effects are done and over with by Saturday morning, however they are lingering this time around and B can't seem to get comfortable. The pain seems to come and go so this weekend we worked around the med schedule and we were able to go to a movie, and even golfed 9 on Sunday. All and all things are looking up, and seeing B on the golf course made my heart swell. B is the strongest person I know. He has suffered so much through all of this, but he really is not letting cancer knock him down. Everyone can stand to learn a little something from B that is for sure.

I will keep up with the updates and thanks for stopping by.

This Little Piggy Went to the Market

This week B had his routine follow up appointment with Dr. # 8. B and I packed up the car and Dog Wednesday night and headed out on a road trip to trusty D-town. The appointment was to find out how B was doing and if his leg had healed from the gigantic surgery. I must say, this was the best Dr. appointment B has had to date. Dr. # 8 reported that B is doing great, and that my days of Driving Mr. Daisy are coming to an end. All hip restrictions/precautions were officially lifted and B is well on his way to the golf course. The Dr. was shocked at how much strength B had and how well the x-ray looked. She also couldn't believe that B came to the appointment without crutches or a cane....typical BMuttz form, pushing the limits right to the edge. As a matter of fact, Dr. # 8 also took B off Coumadin.....another bonus....cha ching!!!!!
So as a reward B and I went car shopping. Living in the Big City without a car, easy peasy, however living in Grand Rapids without a car, huge pain in the ass. Time for an upgrade.

We also got some new information on the genetic testing. No dice. It turns out that B tested negative for the genetic mutation so he is not eligible for Tarceva, or the second drug that is about to come to market. So Chemo is the treatment path that B will continue to follow. Dr. # 4 said that we should not feel disappointment and we should feel OK about where we are. The ways things turned out, the first two Chemo treatment were not a waste so to speak. Dr. # 4 is still waiting on the test from Cali which will tell us more information about the source of the cancer. The Chemo drugs will reflect what we hear from Cali, but regardless we know that we chose the right course....thanks Auntie R. So it looks like B is going to be sporting the new bald look for a bit longer.

B is scheduled for a 3rd round of chemo this Tuesday and we hope to have the info from Cali by then. By Tuesday night we should know exactly what we are fighting and all of our questions answered. We're pretty sure that Dr. # 4 will be scanning B after this next treatment to get a read on how the chemo's working. This comes at a good time since B is having terrible neck pain again....grrrrrr.





We wrapped up our week with a visit to our local Farmer's Market. We're trying to eat better. Figure that it can't hurt the cause, and there is nothing better then fresh Michigan produce. B walked the entire time and it was really nice getting out in the sun. We also took a drive to Greenville for dinner with the redneck clan. Just getting out of the city helps to clear the mind and helped to prepare us for the upcoming week of hell.





Finally, B and I would like to proudly announce that we are officially night time residents of our bedroom once again. This time it's official and we'll be up there for good. No impending surgeries, operations, or anything else can keep us from the pillow top mattress. We briefly moved back in upstairs before the surgery but new that it was only until the surgery. The pull out Ikea couch in the living room was fine and helped make for a nice living room/bedroom combo, but we'll take a living AND a bedroom, thank you very much! More news to follow.

The BMuttz Bowl-A-Rama

A rather uneventful week ended with quite a bang. For the most part this past week was pretty quiet. Each day was filled with the regular RN and PT follow up appointments, but much progress was made. B started to feel better by mid week, and believe it or not folks, B was WALKING. Let me say that again, so that everyone can digest what I just typed....B was WALKING. The "pain in the ass" seems to have subsided quite a bit and for the first time B was cruising around the house. I felt like Ed McMahon had come to the door to personally deliver the $5 million Publisher Clearing House check....actually I felt better then that!! For the first time in 4 months I was barking out orders, just like a wife should be.....hey B, get to doing the dishes, or how about you start a load of laundry. And can I say, it felt frickin' amazing!!!

As a matter of fact, I enjoyed my first night out on the town this past Friday, too, leaving B home alone with Kitty and Pooch. Obviously, it only took a couple of glasses/shots/cans/bottles to get my dancing shoes on, but nobody had more fun than the bride-to-be...you know who you are. And thank you to the Wiggin' Out Party for showing me one helluva time. I returned home to find B tucked in tight with no problems to report. The rest of the day was spent helping me recover from the wild bachelorette party. So we rested up Saturday for the big day: The BMuttz Bowlathon.

So where do I start....B and I happen to have some of the best friends in the world...the Kisses! Senor Juancho decided that he wanted to do something to help out Team Mutnick with our new medical expenses. Juancho and Juanita, Big D and Nanc, and D Bone all went to work planning this event. The Bowlathon was a true testament of the love that our family and friends have for B and I. It was so overwhelming that for the first time ever, B didn't have anything to say.....shocking, right?!? He was truly touched beyond words and for the first 15 minutes or so B was just standing there taking in the scene. Picture this, 150 family and friends all wearing Team Mutnick shirts, surrounded by photos of B and I throughout the years, and an entire table of goodies and door prizes....and of course, don't forget the balloons.

We were able to visit with family and friends on the best Mother's Day ever and B got to show off his new walking legs. Everybody was impressed that he was walking, and never thought that he could outdo himself, but B had something else that he needed to show us. After bowling in our league for 10 weeks on 1 leg and crutches, B was ready to finally bowl on 2 working legs. B approached the lane like The Dude, and with his first ball in his first game back, he threw a strike! It was like a scene out of a Disney movie. It was hard not to tear up, and D Bone had him in the tightest bear hug I've ever seen for what seemed like 5 minutes. Everyone knew that B was back!!!!!! It was so wonderful and we wonder how we will ever be able to pay back our family and friends.

We have a busy upcoming week with follow up appointments and hopefully we find out more information on the genetic testing and the course of treatment we will be following. I promise to give updates as soon as it comes in. For now, we're just enjoying B's progress, massaging his sore hip at the end of the day, and trying to finish all these cookies, candies and other goodies we've collected over the past few days and weeks. Thank you to everyone who made a donation, stopped by to say hi, has made us a meal, is sporting the Team Mutnick shirt wherever you might live, or who just came out and showed some support during the bowling event! We are truly thankful and appreciative. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!

Play -By-Play: Diary Style

This past week was good and bad....I guess at this point, that's to be expected. Here's a day-by-day snap shot:

Dear Journal:
Today is Monday. It marked the last day of teaching for B, and he was quite emotional since this was his 1st class at GVSU. Teaching has proved a true testament to B's character. Since all of this cancer stuff started, B only missed 2 classes (and only 1 of those was canceled...thanks in large part to Prof. Whitehead). 1 class because he started chemo (class was the actual day of treatment) and 1 class because of surgery (I don't think he could make it the day after being knocked out for 4 hours to get a piece of metal put in his leg). B actually got in a fight with me about starting chemo and how it conflicted with his class. He was going to delay treatment so that he could teach....ridiculous right?....but that is B. He planned the discharge from the hospital around teaching, and so he went to class on Monday, and walked to each desk to personally hand out the final. He actually did it and was determined not to let cancer get in the way. He said that teaching helped him get through this difficult time, and because of his determination he was offered a summer position.

The visiting RN also came by to do a blood draw and routine check-up. She said his blood was too thin; so they adjusted his Coumadin dose, and all is well in the world of blood coagulation.

Dear Beloved Notepad:
Today, Tuesday, was a big day...B and I had our follow up appointment with Dr # 4. There was a chance that we would find out today more info about B's cancer and what treatment plan we would be following. However, Dr. #4 is still waiting on the genetic testing results to come in, so for now we are still riding the chemo train...chooo chooo. B had first class tickets today for another 6 hour love session with the chemo IV bags. Dr # 4 had very positive comments to offer and said that he thinks we made the right decision to have the surgery and that a large part of cancer is gone and that B should be walking soon. Dr # 4 also said that the sciatica is a small setback in the big scheme of things, and we can expect it to wear away slowly but surely. D Bone came in again to support B during his 6 hour train ride. I stopped by for lunch, and there sat B...grading exams. He set a goal of getting through half of his grading by the end of the day, and he did just that. He also had a dose of bone strengthening medicine, and then he and D Bone were on their way home. Dr. # 4 also said he would call us with any new info....so we are waiting again.

Dear Permanent Listener:
This was such a busy day. I knew that B was going to be tired by the time I got home from work, and that's understandable since he had 3 appointments today...geez!!! D Bone and B were off to visit Dr. McDreamy, aka Dr. # 10, before 9 am. Not much went down except for a boost in nerve pills. Later that morning, the PT came over and massaged B's entire leg. The hope is to get the muscles that haven't been used since December back into gear. B literally has no right butt cheek...the PT confirmed this...telling us how his gluteus maximus and minimus are completely atrophied (the muscles are there but haven't been used in a long time, so they are sleeping, so to speak). B's right butt cheek looks like it has been hit over and over with a frying pan. Anywho, the goal with the massage is to wake the muscles up and help get B out of bed so that he is walking and can wake the sleeping giant....hahahah.

Later in the afternoon, after some much needed rest, or complaining to D Bone about how much pain he was in, B had his last appointment of the day. B had to go back to the cancer center for a shot of Neulasta....boosting the white blood cell count. Dr. # 4 said that this would help to prevent infection, and trust me we don't need any infection here! And just like that, Wednesday was in the books.

Dearest Chronicles:
Is it the weekend yet? Just kidding, B was really looking forward to Thursday because it was staple removal day. The RN came by and plucked all 25 of the wound closing metal teeth. We had been looking forward to this day for awhile now. The wound looks great and is covered with steri-strips. However, after staple removal, the day began to slowly go downhill. B's pain seemed uncontrollable and he was beginning to get the sweats. By the time I got home from work, we knew that chemo side effects round 2 were in full blast. Is it time for bed yet? Nevermind, even that sucks on chemo side effect day.


Book of Secrets:
Today we knew S was about to hit the fan. We just didn't know what type of S it would be, and unfortunately for our plastic bag collection, it came in the form of nausea. All day B had the sweats, D Bone was constantly filling glass of Vernor's and B was trying to nibble on as many Saltines as he could get down. When I got home from work, B still hadn't thrown up but his condition was not any better.

We convinced D Bone that we had everything under control and that she could go home with Larry and could take care of her regular business. No more than 20 minutes after she got on the road, the nausea took over. I would like to think that I am a good supporter for B's illnesses, but when it comes to the porcelain prayer session, I got no stomach for it!! Picture this...B bending over the trash can and me running out of the room dry-heaving. Bear didn't know which of us to tend to. What a way to start the weekend!

Dear Diary, It's Me, L:
The sun is starting to creep through. After a slow start to the morning, I was finally able to get B off the bed and out the door. Literally. We set a goal to have B walk to the corner and back, mind you we're the 3rd house on the block, but nonetheless, he did it! He still had the crutches with him and used them most of the time, but he did take a few steps holding the crutches off the ground. I can't remember a time when Bear had a bigger smile on her face. It was probably the shortest walk of her life, but even she was happy to see B out of the house.

After the walk, the sweaty beast showered, and I'm talking about B. Then he convinced me he was ready to take a trip to Target with me. It ended up being a bit long for B, but he was still more than willing and able to take a trip to the golf store after. B was in his element and nothing makes him happier then getting new golf gear.

B was a bit sad to not see the Trusty Rombones in action at the Diamond Dust. With the way Friday went, there was no way of knowing what today would bring, and if going to Chicago would even be possible. Team Mom is sorry we couldn't make it guys, but we'll do our best to see the Rombones in action at least once this summer; that comes with a Team Mom GUARANTEE!

All in all, this week showed some positive signs of moving on from the hip replacement. We are looking forward to the summer and our days on the golf course. We know it is going to be a long journey, but with each day comes more progress.